Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize