good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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