Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
