fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize