hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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