Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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