make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
