worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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