I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
