5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
