I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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