so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
