so that wasnt chicken after all
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
