I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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