I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Damn victory sex feels great
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
