Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
