I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it's great music for shaving your balls
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
