I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
