is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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