this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
