NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
