Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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