I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
