Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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