I'm going to jail i love you
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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