upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
