The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
