ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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