i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
