You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had to cum in my sink.
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