What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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