If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
