Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
