ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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