Can Purell be used as lube?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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