is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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