OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
