if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
