If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
