The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
