As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
