well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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