left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize