You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
