Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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