Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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