Don't you send me to vm
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This baby is an asshole
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
