I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize