Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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