at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
