Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
