Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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