he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
