Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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