His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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