420 ftw
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
