i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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