I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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