I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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