I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
