If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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